Back to routine!

We are only on day 2 of the new school year and

back to routine!

Have you ever looked at your life and realised that you do almost exactly the same thing at almost exactly the same time almost every day of the year….some would call it routine, some would call it mundane, some would call it, well I don’t know….some would just call it life!

It is so easy to fall into the trap of just getting on and doing what we have to do….the times on the school run, I have had the conversation with one or more of my children about just how many times I’ve driven this exact route over nearly 16 years, how many miles I must’ve clocked up.   I don’t even have to think about how to get to school now, sometimes I reach the gates and wonder how I actually got there ….which almost backs up my reply to my children I reckon I could do it blindfolded!

I have to admit that I can probably be a bit guilty of doing the head down and just get on!  We can find ourselves just getting through the days, getting the through the routine, getting through the same old, same old…..heads down, eyes practically closed, not seeing, not noticing anything other than what we have to do.

Today I was reminded by what I saw….. yes you may do the same thing at the same time every day and you really may well be able to do it with your eyes shut, even with a blindfold on….however, if that were the case, you would miss so much that is going on around you.  And, to be honest, how much are we already missing because our heads are down and we are just getting on?  

There’s a challenge for us all this year – everyday, whatever we are doing, however routine or ‘mundane’ we think things are… to lift up our heads, open our eyes and, to really see what is happening around us…to see who is around us and then see if there is something that we can do for someone else, to help them out with their ‘routine’ or their ‘mundane’.  If we all did that for someone, and someone did that for us, how much nicer would the ‘routine’ be?

“From the rising of the sun to its going down
The Lord’s name is to be praised”.

Psalm 113:3

Uh-oh! It’s the end of another year…..

I’ve lost count of the amount of people I’ve spoken to lately who have all questioned where 2018 has gone!  Seriously, looking back to this time last year, I was shocked at how fast the year previously had gone, but 2018 has been something else!  It’s frightening that time seems to be going by so quickly and every time I suggest such a thing, my husband ‘lovingly’ reassures me there are 24 hours in every single day, 60 minutes in each hour and an hour is still made up of the same amount of  time that it always has been…..no 2018 hasn’t gone any faster than any other year!  The more ‘mature’ aged people I spend time with have just assured me it’s a sign you’re getting older when the time starts going quickly.  As if I needed that reminder, I’m already planning my 50th even though I’m still in denial about having reached my mid-late forties!!

So, what did happen to 2018?  I don’t honestly know….did I keep to my plans, did I achieve what I set out to achieve, did the year end in the way I expected, or has it turned out to be a big disappointment?!  I quite like this ‘end of year’ rounding up of things because it makes me sit down and look through things, read diaries, scroll through photos – dare I say it, scroll through social media posts….I love all the reminders and yet again, while I question where on earth has this year gone?  what on earth have I spent my time doing?  what have I got to show for the end of another year?…..all of that…….I love the memories that have been hidden away, waiting for the New Year’s Eve reminder!

I started out 2018, not with New Year’s Resolutions but with ‘intentions’…in a notebook I had written, to have intentions one has to be intentional.  So in 2018 I intended ……to live every day the best I can, to look for the positive and not see the negative, to find the good in people/situations….to see Jesus in my everyday and to ‘include’ Him and see Him not just a coincidence – to look to Him for answers and trust Him, not try to sort and fix things myself!  And the big one, as always….to wait for God’s timing…. in everything!  Aargh!

  

When you find yourself in a place of waiting, how difficult is it to just ….wait?!  Exactly!  And that’s the place that we have been in, for a while now.  Because I am ‘patiently waiting’, I have been unable to write blogs…..it’s the same as I said at the end of last year, it’s not that I don’t have hundreds of blog posts going around in my head, my thoughts haven’t just stopped, I just can’t write at the moment and I am hoping the block is lifted soon because as I sit here with my laptop, Christmas tree lights twinkling (probably for the last day of this season), everyone else is asleep, I am reminded how much I enjoy sitting and tapping away on the keyboard, getting my thoughts out there.

Maybe it’s that our thoughts, lessons, the things that God is speaking to us about during seasons of waiting….maybe they are literally that – ours!  Not to share with the world and his brother!  Maybe the silence from my keyboard is because all the thoughts and ponderings, all the questions, all the ahh I get it now, all the oh I see, have been for me…..they have been helping me, shaping me….preparing me for whatever happens when the waiting is over?  Hmmmm…….

The questions, did I keep to my plans, did I live everyday the best I could, did I always see the postive rather than negative, did I always see the good in people/situations, did I see Jesus in my everyday, did I include Him, did I trust God and His timing?  I think I can say I gave it a good shot, but I know I could have done better!  And I think those intentions are exactly what I will be taking with me into 2019, hoping I do better than this year?!

So, goodbye 2018….the year I reached 46, my first baby became 21, the man and I celebrated our anniversary in Venice again, we celebrated the boy’s GCSE results and prom, we’ve started again with GCSE and A levels, we’ve almost come to the end of uni with one and half way through with another,  amazingly we had proper SNOW and even more amazingly, we were all home and able to enjoy it together!  There were football matches…what I mean is, we went to Wembley!  We may not have got the result we wanted but I had a brilliant road trip with the lads!  There were cinema trips….Peter Rabbit (not quite like the original but hey!), The Mountain Between Us (the less said about that!), Goodbye Christopher Robin, The Greatest Showman, Christopher Robin,  I sobbed within seconds of the start of the long awaited Mama Mia 2 ♥ There was a girls theatre trip to see The Little Mermaid (not helped by the man sat in front with his horrible aftershave!), and another girls only trip pottery painting.   There has been a lot of knitting and I have got myself back into sewing this year making curtains, blankets, books, cushions, hot water bottle covers….I am determined that all my Christmas gifts will be made in 2019!  I finally mastered crochet….well, a bit of basic crochet but have been given a great book to keep me occupied next year!  We’ve had road trips to St Ives, Falmouth, Hertford, Milton Keynes, Bristol, Yeovil, the man and I took a mammoth road trip with rainbows all the way and sunsets on the way back, we took what was probably the last annual family camping trip and I discovered the joy of Pot Noodles, we have filled up the freezer with the tons of blackberries we picked nearby, I haven’t run much this year but was surprised to find that I had been more than I realised, I discovered the fun that is Miranda’s Maracattack!  I have enjoyed the flowers appearing in the garden but I have missed watching the seasons change because I haven’t been running so much, I have spotted so many rainbows this year which I always take as a personal reminder that everything is going to be okay…..we’ve had church film afternoons, ladies afternoon cream teas, the ladies have studied all the women of the Bible (we may’ve missed a couple out!), we’ve had the most fun at a Christmas party ever and had a lovely Carol Service too.  

As ever, there have been highs and there have been lows, we’ve had good news and not so good  news, we’ve heard happy news and also not so happy news, we’ve had some very funny moments, real belly laughs but we’ve also had some very sad moments too.  There has been laughter and there have been tears (a combination of the two on Christmas Eve when I found my turkey hadn’t fully defrosted yet!).  However, with everything that has been going on, all we have gone through, everything we are waiting for, this year more than ever, I have found myself to be in a place of peace….knowing without any doubt whatsoever, that God is completely in control, that every step I have taken this year has been trusting Him, waiting for him to ‘tell me’, almost gobsmacked tbh, when the answer hasn’t been NO!  When He hasn’t closed the door on things and we seem to still be moving forward, on into 2019…and until He tells us stop!  don’t go that way, don’t do this or that….then we carry on, walking and trusting in Him and whatever He says.

Earlier on in the year I wrote down something I got from UCB and it said this.. waiting means trusting that God knows what He is doing even when He doesn’t give you all the details.  And really, that sums up not only 2018 but life in general.  Learning to trust God completely and utterly, so that even when we can’t see the way ahead clearly at all, when everything in front is so uncertain, so unknown, so blurry….to KNOW absolutely that God has got this and He really is in control… all we need to do is wait for Him, for His timing (which by the way is ALWAYS right!).  He won’t ever leave us, abandon us and whatever is going on around us, when we let go of control ourselves and trust Him completely, there is always peace.

 

“The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you”.   Deuteronomy 31:8

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.  Isaiah 41:10

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid”.  John 14:26-27

As I come to the end of this (longer than I planned) blog post, I have to say that it kind of goes without saying but needs to be said…..2018 would not have been the amazing year it has turned out to be without the love and support of my husband, my children, my closest friends without whom I possibly could at times, go completely…. doolally!   We’ve had lovely times this Christmas with family and church family and I am frequently reminded that there are people out there who are not so blessed as we are and we mustn’t take all this for granted!

I’m excited for 2019 and for all the love, laughter, friendship, joy and whatever else it is going to bring (New Years Day football for a start!).

Now I am off to open my jar of memories…..I highly recommend everyone makes one of these jars this year ♥

Can you measure love?

♥

It has to be said that when one of my children asks  for help with their homework, I get slightly fraught, to say the least!  Thankfully I can usually send them to their older sister, who has already been there, done that and got all the certificates….not me though!  It’s a looong time since I was at school and seriously, the subjects I studied were not the most ‘academic’, one could say!

Well, imagine my surprise when my child asked for help the other day and not only could I help but it was a question that got me thinking too!

The question was can you measure love?

I was well  away….I sat down, put my feet up even and talked and talked and talked…. about love!

I told her……of course you cannot measure love.  You can NEVER love somone too much, you can NEVER be loved too much, NEVER receive too much love.  The problem is, people talk about love as though it’s all a romantic, fluttery, butterfly in the stomach feeling….but that’s being ‘in love’….and that can wear off, in time.  What people don’t realise is that real love, is a choice, it is choosing to put someone else before yourself, all the time.  It is being Christ-like….doing what Jesus would do.  He would be patient, kind, not envious, proud or easily angered.   He wouldn’t hold grudges, store up wrongdoings to ‘get His own back’ at a later date, He would always forgive.   I told her that really people ‘think’ they love but they give up so easily, move on to the next one when it gets too difficult or hard, but love perseveres…doesn’t give up on someone.  I told her that we can only really love, because God loved us first.  He is love and without His love in us, we cannot truly love because we need Him, we cannot ‘do’ anything in our own strength….even love! 

Obviously, I was in my element….finally a piece of homework that I could help with….my favourite subject and nothing I actually learned at school!

The only problem with her homework was, it wasn’t religious education, it wasn’t philosophy, or psychology even…it was English!  They were studying short stories and this question was to do with a romantic one!  So everything I told her, kind of had to go out of the window…..but she did say oh mum, that was really good and really given me a lot to think about (there was far more than the paragraph above!), but how do I write it all down?

♥♥♥

When I started this blog post nearly two years ago, I have to confess to asking my trusted friend Google for a little help!   It would appear that I was not the only person asking though…. apparently, What is love? is the most searched phrase on Google!  It’s a sad state of affairs when we have to ask Google for the answer to this one, but hey, as I’ve said before, I Google everything!

According to all the different things I have read, love could be described as a neurological condition, like hunger or thirst.  There are different kinds of love ranging from the soppy, mushy kind all the way to the deep, intimate, close bonding kind.  There’s love for self, for a specific other, for all of humanity and then the passionate kind that easily fizzles out if it doesn’t develop into the deep intimate kind!

I don’t know much but I do know that we are all born with a longing to be loved…by God and also by someone else.  It’s very normal to long to be loved by that other person…..to find your other half, your soul mate, that particular someone who ticks all the boxes!  Most people do not realise that they actually were created with a longing to be loved by God – they search and search for the ideal other, someone who will make them happy, who will complete them and even when they do find them, there is still something missing…they are never completely happy.

I figured that most likely, Google, was not the place to find the answer I was looking for and that the answer would be found in the Bible because God is love and we love because He first loved us.

I decided to do a quick Bible study on love, but it seems that really, there is no quick studying of this subject!  You can never finish a study on love, it goes on…..it is at the root of everything, everything comes from it, and everything goes back to it.  and just as the question my daughter asked for her homework, you really cannot measure it, can you?

♥♥♥

 ^“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.  If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

 We love because he first loved us.  Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.  And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”

1 John 4: 7-21

♥♥♥

And so, on Valentine’s Day, the day set aside for love….it seems we are led to believe you have to have a significant other to love and a significant day on which to love on….but you don’t.  We need to love every day and we need to show love to everyone.

♥

re-posted from 14.2.15

National Best Friends Day

So, in celebration of National Best Friends Day, this is reposted from last year!

What actually is a best friend?

Maybe we should just start with what is a friend?

♥

I started with the basics and googled the question, what is a friend?  And the answer was a person with whom one has a mutual bond of affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations – some synonyms are companion, confidant, familiar, ally, comrade, pal, mate.

That’s just a few, but you know how it goes – you meet someone, you find you have something in common, something mutual, you become friends.  Often you have friends in different places, school friends, work friends, church friends, friends in your town, friends from when you were growing up, you may call them all your friends, but there are usually different levels of friendship going on.  Sometimes I wouldn’t describe someone as my friend, but just someone who goes to the same place as me – that would generally mean I haven’t had much to do with them, not much interaction with them where I have found anything in common that draws me back to them, there isn’t really any conversation going on.

One thing I have learned in life is, you can know a lot of people but that does not make them necessarily your friend.

♥

Over the last few years I have looked at the friendships I have, or don’t have any more….and even now at the age of 40something, I am still surprised at how people go through life thinking people are their friends, just because they met them once and they are now on their Facebook friend list!  And that, sadly, seems to be what is nowadays described as a friend…..someone on my Facebook list.  With all the social media platforms there are, people are conducting ‘friendships’ virtually – they are no longer spending real time with people, actually speaking to them with their voices, looking at the other person whilst actually communicating, having eye contact – modern friendships  now seem to be all about texting, liking, poking, commenting, pinging, tagging, #’s, tweets, – everything to do with real, genuine, proper friendship, seems to have turned into what status can I write to get the most likes or comments?  It even appears that people are now spending more of their time virtually, with people they have never met, possibly never will meet but they are an online friend or follower, they are spending more time ‘liking’ people’s statuses, but when in the flesh, they don’t have the time of day for them – is this really what friendship has come to?

♥

 Maybe I am showing my age, but take me back to the days when friendships were real.  You met up with your friends, talked, spent time together, wrote letters, sent cards in the post, spoke on the telephone.  Don’t get me wrong, I am glad we have modern technology, I’m glad I can text my friends whenever and wherever.  I’m glad we have platforms such as Facebook so we can stay in touch with friends further away,  but please don’t let these things replace real and true proper friendship.

♥

Given how difficult the last few months have been, I was glad of our family decision to take a month off Facebook!!  I took the opportunity to do some life laundry – because I think we should do this every now and then.  I realised how much time is wasted, scrawling up and down the screen, looking at what other people are doing, not necessarily ‘liking’ because they aren’t really my friend, they are just someone on my Facebook list!  I realised that the only people I missed reading about, were in my life without the online reminder.  My real friends wrote to me, texted me, met up with me and were still in touch.  There was no ‘liking’, no ‘poking’, no ‘commenting’……just good old fashioned friendship, as it used to be!

I took the plunge to unfriend people, people who I know don’t consider me their friend, people who I have literally no contact with from one day to the next, with or without Facebook, I decided to get my ‘friend list’ back to how it used to be…..people who I know are my friends, people who I have contact with, people who I know want the best for me, and I for them.  I’m sure I am not the only one who wants their Facebook profile to be something that is ‘extra’ to my friendships, I want to be able to share my photos with my friends who are miles away and I don’t see very often, I want my status updates to be something that (as my son would say) keeps the banter going until we see each other again, that it really is just a way of staying in touch and up to date.  I don’t want Facebook friends to replace real friends and at the same time, if you are only a Facebook friend, are you really my friend?

♥

Life is hard enough without wondering if people are really your friend or not!

Best friends don’t just happen – they are friends that have taken the time to nurture their relationship.  They realise the importance of the friendship and take the steps to keep it going!  They don’t happen overnight and if you don’t take the time and actually put into the friendship, but keep taking from it, it won’t last.  But that is friendship full stop isn’t it?

“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”

Amos 3:3 (NKJV)

You don’t just sit down with someone and say can I be your best friend? do you – best friends happen when your friendship has really taken off – when your friend is there for you no matter what, they have your back, they encourage you – not discourage, they don’t judge you, they love you, they want the best for you, they speak the truth to you (even if you don’t want to hear it), they know you well enough to know what to say – if anything at all,  a best friend helps you to be the best person you can be – BUT, a best friend relationship is not all about what your friend does for you, is it –  it’s two-way, reciprocal…isn’t it?

“As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend”.

Proverbs 27:17

^{“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.  You are My friends if you do whatever I command you”.}

John 15:12-14 (NKJV)

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful”

Proverbs 27:6 (NKJV)

♥

So, not only on National Best Friends Day, but every day be thankful for the friends you have and even more so when you know you can call them your best friend too.

♥

 

2016…I wasn’t prepared!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately – I guess the end of another year tends to bring that about.  However, this year has been different.  I have had so much going on, so much thinking has taken place but I have had a complete inability to write.  I think mainly because of all the situations and happenings that have gone on (there comes a point when you know you just have to leave your thoughts where they are and keep them to yourself!).

~♥~

It’s odd – you know when someone asks you, where do you see yourself in 5 years time?  Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Well, this Christmas marks 5 years from the Christmas that changed things completely for me.  If someone had asked me back then, where do you see yourself in 5 years time? I would never in a million years have seen myself where I am now, and I never would have believed that 5 years would have gone by soooo quickly!

It’s mad how life can be so different yet some things are just the same!

~♥~

When I started to look back over 2016, I was convinced it had been a terrible year –  annus horribilis as the Queen once said!  but actually, as I sit here now, looking back through the photos, I have been reminded of the good times, funny moments, family days out, family holidays, parties, special occasions, embarrassing moments, sad moments, exceedingly happy moments – I can see that whilst it hasn’t been great all the time, there has been far more good stuff going on and if I’m not careful, I can let the bad stuff overshadow it, can’t I?

 I knew that 2016 was going to be a tough year, simply because my first baby was going to be leaving home, I knew I was going to be devastated but I wasn’t prepared for just how emotional it would all be!  Aside from that, I wasn’t prepared for all the other ‘tough stuff to deal with’, that was to come my way this year……I wasn’t prepared for the complete and utter sadness I would feel when a local homeless man died, I wasn’t prepared for just how much it would hit me.  I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of betrayal by people who were meant to be friends, finding myself and those close to me being blamed for other people’s issues.  One of the hardest things this year for me, has been keeping my mouth shut!  I have so wanted to shout from the roof tops, it’s not my fault!  I wasn’t prepared for the complete and utter lack of ‘structure’ and ‘routine’ to my days – it took me a while to ‘get’ that this was it, this was my life now…..it was up to me to work out what I should be doing on what day, who I should be seeing, who I should be helping…or not!  I wasn’t prepared for how completely draining some people can be – I wasn’t prepared to have to choose to stop helping someone because no matter what I said or did, I couldn’t fix them – only God could do that.   I wasn’t prepared for how difficult it would be to not have any wages coming in – but then I knew we had everything we needed and more, I guess I learned more so this year, that what we think we need and what we do actually need….God knows and He provides.

~♥~

Looking on the brighter side of things…….I wasn’t prepared to find myself becoming good friends with people, double my age….and older!   I wasn’t prepared to find these were the people I spent much of my time with.  I wasn’t prepared to find that people genuinely cared for me and my family, that they really love us and pray for us everyday.  I wasn’t prepared to find that some of the best days of this year were spent just sitting, chatting and spending time with people who aren’t related but have become family to me.  I wasn’t prepared for the kindness of people, who popped something in an envelope so my family could have an extra treat when we were away.  I wasn’t prepared for the generosity of a friend who surprised me with a gift that they knew I wanted but couldn’t buy….just because they wanted me to have it!  I wasn’t prepared for the surprise of an amazing gift of a much needed holiday in a few weeks time.  I wasn’t prepared to find that the majority of my time would be spent doing things for and with other people, with rarely a minute to myself, yet somehow managing to survive!  I wasn’t prepared for how much my children would accept that this is it and just go with the flow!

I guess I just wasn’t prepared for the reality of being a (full-time) pastor’s wife!  Unfortunately, I wasn’t prepared by being given a ‘how to be’ book to read!  I wasn’t prepared to find that suddenly my life wasn’t just me, my husband, my kids…..it was all of that and so much more.

So I can honestly say, if you had asked me back then, where do you see yourself in 5 years time?  I would never ever have suggested that this is where I would be!  2016 has possibly been one of the toughest years of my life but it hasn’t finished me off!  If anything, it has made me even stronger, and more determined to be the best wife, mama, friend, daughter, sister – oh, and pastor’s wife!  

~♥~

 Hmm, I have read my intentions for 2016 and wonder if I achieved them!  Did I live making the best of each day?  Did I do more reading, writing, running, taking photos?  Have I got to the end of 2016 and am I surprised at how much I have done, how many places I have been to??

I guess I will have to own up to having allowed the tough stuff to cloud the good stuff but on closer inspection…..2016 has been filled with great stuff!

2016, the year I turned 44 –  my husband took me for coffee high up in the Dolomite mountains, I waved one of my children off on a coach to stay with a family in another country, became that mum in wellie boots watching her son play rugby, became that mum that sits in the car outside reading while her daughter has a piano lesson, started wearing glasses for reading (ssh, and for threading needles!), ran nearly 333 miles, went to pilates, had 2 of my girls taking piano exams, had a park picnic with my oldest friend – just like the old days 25+ years ago but now with our children!, my second child passed her driving theory test, I took my eldest to vote for the first time and put my X in the box for the Brexit vote, had the French exchange girl come to stay for a week, had the annual family camping trip, had a 3 night family trip to London, had my first proper filling, rekindled my love of knitting!  knitted a blanket for a friend’s new baby, knitted a squidgy out of shape bunny rabbit for someone – everyone should have a ‘rad’,  packed my first baby and her rad off to university expecting her home any minute only to find she has settled into life in her new town/church and Christian Union – resulting in overcoming my phobia of video calls so we can Skype (thank goodness for modern technology eh!), have been amazed at the flexibility of my youngest child who never stops dancing/stretching/bending/doing the splits, been on several road trips with #2 daughter to university open days, taken #3 daughter to her dance exam, my not so little boy is now towering over me and became rugby player of the year, #2 daughter is taller than me now too, been to my first ever real live football match, completed the One Year Bible, read a few books but not nearly enough!, taken loads of photos, completed ‘3 things to be thankful for today’ every night, had a month off FB….and dare I say it – survived!, went to Gloucester Cathedral to see the grave of Edward II, went around Venice by water taxi, had a medical, had a Wimbledon tea towel brought home for me, bought ‘mother & son’ West Ham t-shirts, watched all of Anne of Green Gables,  saw The Lady of Shallott at Tate Britain, visited Dartmoor Prison Museum, watched The Lord of The Rings Trilogy for the first time, I ran beside the sea for the first time, took my son to watch the rugby on the big screen at Sandy Park, had breakfast at Ikea, and so much more….. after a brilliant family Christmas I’ve started to look forward to next year’s already!

We have exciting times ahead of us, so to all of you travelling along the road with us, thank you for being there this past year and we look forward to what’s in store next year…… 2016, I wasn’t prepared for you but after all the lessons you’ve brought me – 2017, I think I am better prepared!!!

~♥~

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:13-14

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

You’re beautiful….it’s true!

(reposted)

I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, but how to get the thoughts out there, that’s a whole other matter!

The conversation has been popping up a lot lately, between us girls at home.

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It seems we are constantly bombarded with people telling us, adverts telling us, magazines telling us – telling us to just use this product and then we will feel better about ourself….just use that product and then we will look better than ever before….just use the other product and we will find we have the confidence to do anything we want….just use this even better product and all your wrinkles and stretchmarks will be gone, in seconds – you know what I’m saying – all the adverts and posters that seem to tell us that all our problems will be fixed with a little magic potion…they don’t seem to tell you that it isn’t a permanent fix, that you need to keep re-taking that potion or keep re-using the product.

The first time I was pregnant, I remember the day I came across a strange mark on my oh so huge belly!  I didn’t have a clue what it was and thought it looked like someone had tried to remove a nail from me with a claw hammer!  When it dawned on me that I had my first ever stretchmark, I was partly gutted and partly proud of it…weird eh!  Gutted because people told me I would never get rid of them, and I was scarred for life but proud of it because in some strange way, it marked me as a mama…..okay, I wasn’t prepared for how many stretchmarks would come with that first one but to this day, I couldn’t be without them because they came as part of the package that is motherhood!  So many people would have us believe that they are an eyesore, they need to be got rid of and true, I don’t show mine to the world, but why be made to feel ashamed of them, embarrassed by them, be made to feel that they are something oh so wrong?

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As a mama of three girls, believe me, I know the score when it comes to girls.  I know about ‘competition’.  I know not wanting to be the one who wasn’t included, the one with something ‘not right’,  the ‘ugly’ one.  I know not wanting to be the one ‘not picked’ because my face wasn’t right, my height wasn’t right, my weight wasn’t right, my hairdo wasn’t right.  I know about wanting to be in ‘the popular group’.  I know about just wanting to fit in – I know….I guess I know because I too was a girl growing up who went through all those issues too.  I know and actually, it isn’t only girls that feel that way, girls and boys alike have that deep down desire, need even, to know – that they fit in, that they make the grade, pass the test – that they are acceptable….that they are accepted just as they are.

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Now I am a mum, I listen to my children telling me tales of who said what, who did what, who is in ‘the popular group’ – and more to the point, who isn’t…..I listen and I question.  How can children be so horrible to each other and about each other, has it always been so?  Have children always been so nasty?  Where do they learn it?  Who tells them that it is okay to treat other children like this?

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I guess the point I am trying to get across, is that I know growing up is hard and can in fact be quite horrible.  I know that children can be cruel to each other and that children can grow up to become adults with many scars from the years gone by.

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I guess until I had children of my own, I didn’t realise just how important it was that each of them, individually, knew that they were loved, that they were special, that they were beautiful….that whatever happened, they made the grade, reached the mark, that there was nothing about them that needed changing…..just as they are, they are just right.  

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I know I’m probably a bit harsh when I hear that someone has been horrible to my child or about them.  Tell me a mama that isn’t on the attack when they hear their child’s tales of woe – there’s nothing worse for a mama than to hear that someone has been horrible to her child, been cruel to them,  found fault with them.   A baby isn’t just another person that she brought into the world, that baby is a part of her very being – when someone wounds her baby, they wound her.

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 I remember when I first had a baby girl, I read how important it was, NOT to let her grow up hearing you constantly talking about being unhappy with your weight and needing to go on a diet, NOT to hear you saying you were fat, NOT to see you looking at yourself in the mirror and finding fault with yourself……children imitate so be careful what you are doing and saying in front of them.  I guess for me, I really took that to heart – I don’t even remember owning bathroom scales!  I know I must have been doing something right when she came home from school telling me a friend of hers was going on a diet – she was only in primary school!

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I have made it my mission as a mama, ( I guess partly this stems from remembering the cruelty of other children when I was a child), to make sure that they absolutely know they are loved, wanted, thought about, planned, they are not a mistake…they were always meant to be.  Before they were even conceived, they were thought of, by their Creator – for some reason, He decided I was the mama for them, and they were the babies for me….way before whenever, they were loved and known by Someone far greater than their mama.

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb”

Jeremiah 1:5 (NLT)

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When God gives you a child, they aren’t yours to keep, they are entrusted to you, to bring up….in the best possible way!  Granted there are always going to be things you wish had been done differently, things you hope haven’t left great open wounds or scars.  If you can bring up your children to know that they are precious (I don’t like that word, but there is no other word suitable!)….they are individual, God created them to be exactly who they are, not like someone else, exactly who they are.  The features they have that someone else draws attention to, are a part of what makes them who they are….and they are unique.  There is no one else exactly the same as them, and they are not exactly the same as anyone else – God created them to be who they are.  They are His choice and He loves them.  He knows every hair on their head.

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed”.

Psalm 139:13-16 (NLT)

“And the very hairs on your head are all numbered”.

Luke 12:7 (NLT)

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People need to bring up their children to know that true beauty is found on the inside, not on the outside, that in the end, true beauty is found in who you are, the kind of person you are and not what you look like, not your appearance.  Real confidence is not found in a bottle, in an easy-fix solution, real confidence is found in knowing that you are a child of God, that you are loved and accepted beyond measure by your Heavenly Father.

“Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience”.

Colossians 3:12 (NLT)

  ^“You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God”.

1 Peter 3:4 (NLT)

 ^“Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised”.

Proverbs 31:30 (NLT)

International Day of Peace

(reposted)

It has become one of those ‘things we do’.  My children ask me what I would like for Christmas or for my birthday, I tell them um, I think I’d like world peace, please.

It’s the same everytime.  We have a bit of a laugh about it and they tell me that sadly, they don’t think they can get it for me and what would I like instead.

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So, today is the day.

‘Peace Day’….’International Peace Day’….’World Peace Day’….’International Day of Peace’…. whatever we call it, today is the day that is observed annually around the world.

It is the day dedicated to world peace, specifically the absence of war and violence.

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Surely, I am not the only one, that thinks just a day?  We don’t just want world peace today, we want world peace every day, don’t we?

.

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We may not think that individually we can achieve world peace, and to be fair, that is a tough one – but it doesn’t mean we can’t do our bit, does it?

In Romans 12:18 it says

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone”.

If we concentrate on creating peace in our own life, in our surroundings, in our little corner of the world, then we are at least doing something, aren’t we?

Doing something is always better than doing nothing, I’m sure!

We so frequently hear people tell us wherever we go to “spread happiness”, “spread joy”, “spread a smile”…you’ve got it – why not spread peace too?

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According to the dictionary, peace is (i) calm, quiteness, (ii) absence of anxiety, (iii) freedom from war, (iv) harmony between people.

Another dicionary described peace as freedom from disturbance, tranquility, mental or emotional calm.

To be peaceable is to be inclined towards peace.

If you ‘hold one’s peace’ you remain silent about something – if you ‘make one’s peace’ you re-establish friendly relations.

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In the Bible, in Matthew 5:9 it says

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God”.

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Instead of thinking I can’t do anything to help achieve world peace – start spreading peace where you are, in your corner of the world.

Choose to be a peacemaker, not a peacebreaker.

Choose to be the calm in other’s storms.

Choose to ‘hold your peace’ instead of losing it unnecessarily.

Choose to ‘make your peace’ instead of argue.

Speak words of peace rather than hostility.

Choose to love and not to hate.

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There are so many ways we can spread peace, wherever we are and we need to choose to do so, even if we don’t think it will make a difference…..because in your corner of the world, it will.

And that, is a start, isn’t it?

“ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”.

Galations 5:22-23

Cupcakes to the brothels!

(re-posted from 2013)

So….my family and about 15 others of us have just returned from a week camping!  Not your usual camping holiday mind, for my family, it has turned out to be our annual jaunt, we can’t imagine not doing it now it’s been so many years.  However, for a couple of people in our group it was their first time…..yeah, we had a holiday with a difference….we went to New Wine which is a huge Christian conference attended by thousands of people.

In our house we are still getting back into the luxury of hot running water, the kettle boiling almost instantly and the cup of tea staying hot, not having to queue for the toilets or a shower…however, every year there comes a time whilst away, that the thought really does cross my mind – “actually I think I could live here like this always”!  Surrounded  by thousands of other ‘like-minded’ people, living very basically, no hairdryers, no straighteners, no TV, no ‘normal’ BUT we are all in the same boat, and everyone seems to just get on with complete random strangers!  It would be very easy to live a life loving your neighbour were we able to live all year round in a huge Christian gathering wouldn’t it?  Getting up in the morning, heading off to worship with thousands of others, hearing amazing preaching throughout the day, sitting around talking and then heading off for the next installment….it would be very easy to live like this wouldn’t it?

We came home late on Saturday night and our first stop was the all night petrol station for milk (couldn’t not have a proper cuppa before bed!).  As we drove into the town, suddenly there were people everywhere spilling out of the pubs, stumbling out of taxis and down the road….and my exact words were “back to reality”.

This year there were some really amazing speakers and one lady who I could listen to over and over was Danielle Strickland.  I heard her last year and a few times last week….last night while I was reading some stuff about her, I found out that she is younger than me!  Okay, only 6 months younger but I said to my friend “my life is dull in comparison”.  I would love to go knocking on the doors of brothels and telling them I’ve brought them cupcakes!

 When you hear about someone’s life, what their past has been like, how much they have done etc, maybe it’s just me, but you assume they are older than you simply because they have done so much!  Hmm, obviously not so!

There can be a tendency to think that our life is nothing because we don’t get to pray for miracles on airplanes, we don’t get to knock on the doors of brothels giving out cupcakes, we may never have anything to do with drug addicts and people who are in prison….however, as we also hear time and time again and should remind ourselves, God didn’t create us all to do the same things and He does have different things for each of us to do!  There is also the tendency to think about the prospect of visiting the brothels, praying for the miracles and all of the other stuff and think “oh I could never do that” or “well, He wouldn’t use someone like me”…..

While speaking, she happened to mention Gideon.  For some reason, I have heard Gideon being mentioned so many times lately!  He had what she called the “I suck syndrome”!  So many of us are like that aren’t we!  When the Lord told Gidoen He was sending him to save Israel out of Midian’s hand, he responded just like most of us would……“how can I”? “I am the least….”  And the Lord answered Gideon just as He does to us “I will be with you”  (Judges 6:14-16).

I imagine we all are a bit like Gideon….think we couldn’t possible do anything, come from the wrong family, that we are way too not good enough etc.  However, if the Lord calls you to do something, to go somewhere, He won’t be just sending you alone….He will be with you.  Okay, so it may not be to the brothels, to the prisons, to the slums, to the war torn countries etc but you can be sure that wherever you are at the moment, is where you are meant to be and He has brought you to that place and right now the people around you need to be shown the love of Christ just as the people in all the other places.

This morning I was faced with a challenge when some young chap drove into the back of my car outside my house….I know it’s only a car, but really!  I did my best to not get annoyed, to do the right thing, say the right thing and basically be the good Christian person but after about a minute he completely went off on one at me, was shouting, swearing, demanding I did what he wanted blah, blah, blah.  When he told me to something or other off and stuck his finger up at me,  I so so so wanted to really give him what for but all I could think was I have to live in this road and people will be watching me!!!  Ohhhh, I so would rather have been taking cupcakes to a brothel I tell you…but this is where I am meant to be!  These are the people that I am ‘called’ to witness to (until I hear otherwise!).  Hmm…I don’t think I passed the test completely this morning but I didn’t fail too miserably!

“He answered, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’.”
Luke 10:27

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us”.
1 John 4:7-12

International Day of Friendship

(reposted from 2013)

Well, I switched on my computer this morning and was informed that today is the International Day of Friendship.…it’s always a day of something or other isn’t it!  And actually, when I googled it to find out a bit more, it turns out that there are quite a few of these days to celebrate friendships throughout the year in different countries.

But….I had found out that today was the day, and that was what I wanted to know about….today!

So…30 July is a day for celebrating friendship,  initially created by the greeting card industry and more recently with the help of social networking sites and mobile phones as it easier to send messages on masse….

Well, a day to celebrate friendships by sending greeting cards, you kind of never would have guessed it would have stemmed from a greeting card founder would you?!  You and I both know we don’t need any more ‘special days’ to send greetings cards to those special to us do we?  If you’re anything like me, if you’re not careful, it can become a real chore to have to find the appropriate card with the appropriate wording for the person it is for (not taking into account the cost of the card too!!) – surely, when something has become a chore, maybe it is then time to work out why you’re doing it and actually, should you still be doing it if it is a chore?

Clearly that is my bitter and twisted side coming out there!

I’ve said this a few times over the last few months through various blog posts….we all have loads of people we know, loads of acquaintances, lots of people in our lives….but real friends?  What is a real friend?  A true friend?

They say that it is when you are going through it, that when we are facing hard times, that is when real friends are revealed.

I know from my own experience, this is most definitely the case.  I know I never would have got through the last couple of years without my true friends, the real ones, the best friends… those that came alongside me, supported me when others floated off into outer space by all accounts!

The ones that are still here….when life seems to be somewhat smooth and picking up again.  They were here, however, at the lowest point and have remained consistently so…..and I’m glad to say, I know that they are my true friends and that I in turn, am their true friend too.

If you’re anything like me and I know my true friends are (maybe that’s one of the reasons we get on?)…..we don’t need a day to celebrate friendship…simply because if someone really does mean as much to you as you say, why would you wait for a special day to let them know?  Why wait until the shops are selling cards on a particular day….send a card some other time.  I have to say I know that when I get an unexpected card or letter from one of my best friends, it means a whole lot more than had it been sent simply because it was the day to celebrate friendship.

And even though I’m sure we don’t need an International Day of Friendship to celebrate those special friendships, those closest to us….I’m sure that it’s still a good enough reason to say thank you, thank you and thank you to my truest, closest, bestest, dearest, oldest, newest, wisest and funniest friends – thank you for being there and thank you in advance for continuing to be there because I know there is heaps loads more ahead for us to go through together…and I’m looking forward to it!

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”.
John 15:13

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”.
Proverbs 18:24

“Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
 If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up”.
Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10

National Best Friends Day?

It seems that again I have been suffering from ‘writer’s block’,  probably not even that – life has just been far too complicated and difficult lately to put my thoughts out there and onto paper, just in case what I write offends anyone!

So a little bit late, only a few hours, but this morning I saw that yesterday had been National Best Friends Day.  

I may have missed yesterday but even a day late, what better day than today to celebrate best friends?

But what actually is a best friend?

Maybe we should just start with what is a friend?

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I started with the basics and googled the question, what is a friend?  And the answer was a person with whom one has a mutual bond of affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations – some synonyms are companion, confidant, familiar, ally, comrade, pal, mate.

That’s just a few, but you know how it goes – you meet someone, you find you have something in common, something mutual, you become friends.  Often you have friends in different places, school friends, work friends, church friends, friends in your town, friends from when you were growing up, you may call them all your friends, but there are usually different levels of friendship going on.  Sometimes I wouldn’t describe someone as my friend, but just someone who goes to the same place as me – that would generally mean I haven’t had much to do with them, not much interaction with them where I have found anything in common that draws me back to them, there isn’t really any conversation going on.

One thing I have learned in life is, you can know a lot of people but that does not make them necessarily your friend.

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Over the last few years I have looked at the friendships I have, or don’t have any more….and even now at the age of 40something, I am still surprised at how people go through life thinking people are their friends, just because they met them once and they are now on their Facebook friend list!  And that, sadly, seems to be what is nowadays described as a friend…..someone on my Facebook list.  With all the social media platforms there are, people are conducting ‘friendships’ virtually – they are no longer spending real time with people, actually speaking to them with their voices, looking at the other person whilst actually communicating, having eye contact – modern friendships  now seem to be all about texting, liking, poking, commenting, pinging, tagging, #’s, tweets, – everything to do with real, genuine, proper friendship, seems to have turned into what status can I write to get the most likes or comments?  It even appears that people are now spending more of their time virtually, with people they have never met, possibly never will meet but they are an online friend or follower, they are spending more time ‘liking’ people’s statuses, but when in the flesh, they don’t have the time of day for them – is this really what friendship has come to?

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 Maybe I am showing my age, but take me back to the days when friendships were real.  You met up with your friends, talked, spent time together, wrote letters, sent cards in the post, spoke on the telephone.  Don’t get me wrong, I am glad we have modern technology, I’m glad I can text my friends whenever and wherever.  I’m glad we have platforms such as Facebook so we can stay in touch with friends further away,  but please don’t let these things replace real and true proper friendship.

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Given how difficult the last few months have been, I was glad of our family decision to take a month off Facebook!!  I took the opportunity to do some life laundry – because I think we should do this every now and then.  I realised how much time is wasted, scrawling up and down the screen, looking at what other people are doing, not necessarily ‘liking’ because they aren’t really my friend, they are just someone on my Facebook list!  I realised that the only people I missed reading about, were in my life without the online reminder.  My real friends wrote to me, texted me, met up with me and were still in touch.  There was no ‘liking’, no ‘poking’, no ‘commenting’……just good old fashioned friendship, as it used to be!

I took the plunge to unfriend people, people who I know don’t consider me their friend, people who I have literally no contact with from one day to the next, with or without Facebook, I decided to get my ‘friend list’ back to how it used to be…..people who I know are my friends, people who I have contact with, people who I know want the best for me, and I for them.  I’m sure I am not the only one who wants their Facebook profile to be something that is ‘extra’ to my friendships, I want to be able to share my photos with my friends who are miles away and I don’t see very often, I want my status updates to be something that (as my son would say) keeps the banter going until we see each other again, that it really is just a way of staying in touch and up to date.  I don’t want Facebook friends to replace real friends and at the same time, if you are only a Facebook friend, are you really my friend?

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Life is hard enough without wondering if people are really your friend or not!

Best friends don’t just happen – they are friends that have taken the time to nurture their relationship.  They realise the importance of the friendship and take the steps to keep it going!  They don’t happen overnight and if you don’t take the time and actually put into the friendship, but keep taking from it, it won’t last.  But that is friendship full stop isn’t it?

“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”

Amos 3:3 (NKJV)

You don’t just sit down with someone and say can I be your best friend? do you – best friends happen when your friendship has really taken off – when your friend is there for you no matter what, they have your back, they encourage you – not discourage, they don’t judge you, they love you, they want the best for you, they speak the truth to you (even if you don’t want to hear it), they know you well enough to know what to say – if anything at all,  a best friend helps you to be the best person you can be – BUT, a best friend relationship is not all about what your friend does for you, is it –  it’s two-way, reciprocal…isn’t it?

“As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend”.

Proverbs 27:17

^{“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.  You are My friends if you do whatever I command you”.}

John 15:12-14 (NKJV)

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful”

Proverbs 27:6 (NKJV)

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So, not only on National Best Friends Day, but every day be thankful for the friends you have and even more so when you know you can call them your best friend too.

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